I had always had a very definite opinion on whether two members of the opposite sex can really just be friends without one or the other developing some sort of romantic feeling. In short, I never thought this was possible, until I recently started hanging out more with an old colleague.
I forgot how much fun it was to have that much banter without the usual side of bitching, obsessing about weight, dissecting celebrities, and analyzing relationships. Men are generally far more chilled out, and it has been rubbing off on me.
A few nights ago, we went to a pub in a part of London that I had never been to before. Balham. That's where he lives, and obviously I would go there for no other reason. We settled down with our drinks on a comfy faux Chesterfield, and began talking about relationships and dating. It became very apparent very quickly that (most) men are really very simple and do not read the subtle signals that women send out.
For example, he has recently started dating a pretty Indian girl who was clearly very scarred by a previous relationship in which her ex cheated on her. Understandably she has said that she wants to take it slow, so much so that she has labelled their dates as 'non-dates'.
He started to think that she wasn't interested in him at all, and when a pretty girl struck up a conversation in a bar a few nights later, there was no hesitation on his part to indulge in a bit of a flirt.
The pretty Indian 'non-girlfriend' clearly became enraged with jealousy and started spouting over obscenities to the poor girl. In the end he had to apologise for her embarrassing behaviour, and rather surprisingly this did not put him off her!
They are now practically on the verge of 'making it official' and he regularly comes to me for tips and advice on how to make her happy, and what he should do in the event that he needs to make it up to her.
What continues to baffle me, is that after all this time men and women still struggle to understand each other. It seems as though men clearly fail to spot the signals and obvious signs, but then women analyse things far too much. The answers are generally in front of our eyes, yet we seem to love complicating things and inventing reasons that simply aren't there.
Ladies, if you're wondering why he hasn't called you, he's probably not interested- no matter how amazing your date was. And guys, if she says she doesn't care, doesn't mind or that she's fine, she probably does care, seriously does mind, and most definitely is not fine.
After all, it's obvious isn't it?
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